Ending a Crazy Year...

I really should be getting to bed right now. It is a little after 10 and the twins have been in bed for a little less than two hours already. Lately they have been waking up about 2am for another feeding then going back to sleep until 7 or 8. I hope they finish that soon, they are almost too big for the bassinet in my room! I would also really like to have them in their own room by the time Michael gets home...here's to hoping. Now on to what was on my mind.

Jan 2nd of this year we found out we were pregnant. We had been trying for over a year for a boy so after having an ectopic and a miscarriage last year we were happy but cautious. Because of the ectopic I was told to get an ultrasound as soon as possible if I had a positive test again. That is how we found out we were having twins at just 6wks gestation.

By this time we were already making plans to move to NC. While talking to my mom one day we agreed to have her make the move with us so she could get out of Nebraska. Little did she know what she was getting herself into! We really wanted to tell our family in person since I was going to be making a the cross country drive to NC and would be afforded the opportunity. Plus, it was that much bigger a story since it was double! I really struggled with not telling her but decided she still had time to change her mind since she offered to come out and make the first part of the drive with me and she wanted to finish out a full year at her job. It was worth the wait to see her face when I picked her up and told her.

We also knew that the unit Michael was moving to was leaving for Afghanistan sometime this summer. We were happy to find out that they were willing to keep him back so he could be here for the birth. He would just have to join everyone later.

So we made the drive, Hannah, Kayla and I, across the country. It was a real adventure. We enjoyed spending time with family and friends and seeing their faces as we told them our big news. Finally we made it to NC to the home of one of my best friends, Tiffany. It took us about a month to make the journey.

I got us all checked in with post for our medical so I could resume prenatal appts and then started looking for a house. I found a really great one that was in foreclosure and put an offer on it. We ended up getting out bid because it was such a great house. Things happen for a reason though and we decided we were suppose to rent during this time. I found this house and signed the lease one week before Michael finished up his school in CA and joined us. We had been apart for 6 weeks.

Two weeks later we were moved in (as in we had our stuff, just not all out of boxes) and he left for ANCOC in Arizona for another 6 weeks. Right after he left mom made the move and joined us here in NC. It was great having her here to help with the moving in.

By the time he came home from ANCOC I already looked like I was 9mo pregnant! We enjoyed a little over a month together before he had to leave again for 3 weeks. This time it was for jump school. He was going to become airborne qualified for his new unit. So far we had been apart for 15 wks out of the year.

By the time he got back from that we had a little less than a month before the twins were due for their c-section arrival at 37wks gestation on the 26th of Aug. That Sunday morning, the 23rd, at 2am my water broke and they were pulled into this world about 9am.

Michael left for Afghanistan three weeks later.

So, we have official been apart more than we have been together this year. It has been a year of ups and downs and lots of running around. It has been wonderful getting to know Shayna and Rhian and learning how to be a mommy of twins plus two big sisters. It has been a year of testing; testing of my body, my patience, and my emotional and spiritual strength.

Here is what I see though as I look back over this year. I see God carrying me every step of the way. He provided for an uncomplicated healthy pregnancy and two bouncing baby girls. He provided help from my friend Tiffany by providing us a place to stay while I looked for a house and countless other ways. He provided my mom who has been invaluable to me this year. He has kept watch over my husband and I trust He will bring him home to me next year. He is the only reason I am sain. Without His provision I would be a puddle.

The even more amazing part? He has done all of this without much in the way of communication from me. I have allowed myself to get caught up in the happenings of the year. I can count on my hands the number of times I have been to church this year. Yet, every time I have called on Him, He has been there. Every time He carries me through that very moment through to the other side.

It has been a crazy year but I serve a crazy God; crazy over me, a very unworthy me.

I was very blessed by this article in my MOPS email and just had to share. Enjoy!


Less-Than-Perfect Mothering
Carla Foote, Director of Communications MOPS International

I was watching parents drop their kids off at school last week, and I noticed a trend: many parents didn’t want to let their children go off on their own, for fear that they might come across disappointment, failure or difficulty. Moms and dads wanted to stick around, so they could continue to protect their kids.

We put lots of pressure on ourselves as moms to “get it right.” (Whatever “right” and “it” are.) Somehow as we make our way through the thousands of things that make up our individual mom-styles, there’s still a nagging suspicion that our kids will turn out terribly if we mess something up.

There’s nothing wrong with aspirations toward being more patient, nurturing, organized or more whatever as a mom, but I think our children learn important life lessons in the less-than-perfect times – when we make “mistakes.” How we mother during this less-than-perfect life builds resilience in our kids. Life is, after all, less than perfect.

Toys will break, sandwiches will be sliced incorrectly and playground friends will be mean. These inconveniences and heartbreaks might be the best preparation for inevitable disappointment later in life. After all, cars break down, breakfast toast burns and some degree of relationship disappointment is inevitable.

It’s an important job to show our kids how we (less-than-perfect moms) take deep breaths and move forward in the face of trouble, disappointment and discouragement. Even if we’re not graceful under pressure, our children can watch us apologize, stand up and brush off the dirt.

By the way, I wasn’t watching first-time school kids being dropped off – this was freshman orientation at college! Let’s decide to let our little (and not-so-little) ones walk their own rocky paths every once in a while. It will be good for them in the end.

I'm amazed how well my girls play together when they aren't supposed to be playing! Well, at least I was able to get a nap in. It may not have been as long as I would of liked, but at least I got one. We seem to have moved from one napping and the other playing quietly to niether of them napping or playing quietly. Perfect timing isn't it? Just as I am about to need naps myself with the twins keeping me up through the night, my 4 yr old gives it up!

The Lord will provide. He is all I need! May I rest in Him.

Welcome!

I have had this set up for over a year now and just haven't gotten on here. I was checking out some of my friends blogs and thought now would be a good time to get it up and going. I picked the title "Learning As We Go..." last year when I set it up. At the time I was really struggling with my parenting and other areas of my life. Because of that I was reaching out to God and waiting to see what I was to learn in all of it. I also realized that this was going to be an ongoing process, for the rest of my life. If I am not learning, I am not growing, therefore I am dead. So, I will strive to look for God's lessons (grace) in every day.

I'm sure with everything that is happening the rest of this year, I won't be short on things to talk about! I won't promise that I will be regular in my postings, but I will be updating from time to time. Here is a preview of what is to come.

On August 26th we will be welcoming our 3rd and 4th children into the family. Our twin girls will be delivered by c-section @ 9am that morning! We are all super excited, to include the big sisters, Hannah and Kayla!

Shortly after that (but no date) Michael, my husband, will be leaving for his first deployment since we have been together. Our 10th anniversary is in February of next year. We have been truly blessed to have gone this long without him having to leave for any longer than 3 months. Now it is time to pay our dues. His new unit deploys often but for shorter lengths of time. That means from now on he will be gone more often just not for a year at a time like most units.

We are also homeschooling our oldest girls. This is a challenge in and of itself.

So, with all this going on, I'm sure I will have something to say. I just don't know how often I will be able to get on here and say it! I also won't be short on things to pray about. This is definitely not the time to rely on myself and my own strengths. I will be leaning wholly on God to get me through all of this. I am truly excited to share these experiences with you! Let's see God in action!